Two and a Half Men

Charlie: Listen, you've got to do me a favor.
Alan: That's what I live for.
Charlie: Sarcasm is for winners, Alan.

Rob Halford

"Because that's what Ozzfest is about," she said. "If you want alt, go to other festivals, not ours. We're not gay."
Halford then pointed out dryly, "I am."

Tyondai Braxton

Tyondai: Pretty much after I got arrested my social worker said you can either go to jail or be in a band.

What were you arrested for?

Tyondai: Rocking too hard.

Blue Harvest (Family Guy)

Peter (Han Solo): [about the Millenium Falcon] Well, what do you think?
Chris (Luke Skywalker): What a piece of junk!
Peter (Han Solo): Thank you this was my brother's, he died of leukemia. How do you feel know?

Kurt Cobain

I miss the comfort in being sad.