Tyondai Braxton

Tyondai: Pretty much after I got arrested my social worker said you can either go to jail or be in a band.

What were you arrested for?

Tyondai: Rocking too hard.

Blue Harvest (Family Guy)

Peter (Han Solo): [about the Millenium Falcon] Well, what do you think?
Chris (Luke Skywalker): What a piece of junk!
Peter (Han Solo): Thank you this was my brother's, he died of leukemia. How do you feel know?

Kurt Cobain

I miss the comfort in being sad.

Delta Air Lines

We're sorry; we have no updates on this bag and are still trying to locate it. Please check back again.

James LeBeau

Christian: Sweetheart, you’re two hours late. If you were a pizza, I’d get you for free.
(He opens the door to find James standing there)
James: That’s because pizza gets cold. Some things get hotter the longer you wait for them.

Jennifer Melfi

Depression is rage turned inward.

Samuel Johnson

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Candy Darling

Andy Warhol: Look at candy everyone, doesn't she look fabulous, how often do you have your period?
Candy Darling: Every day Andy, I'm such a woman.

Richard Jones

London is a big city. Someone must have balls to sell.

God

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.