Rob Halford

"Because that's what Ozzfest is about," she said. "If you want alt, go to other festivals, not ours. We're not gay."
Halford then pointed out dryly, "I am."

Tyondai Braxton

Tyondai: Pretty much after I got arrested my social worker said you can either go to jail or be in a band.

What were you arrested for?

Tyondai: Rocking too hard.

Blue Harvest (Family Guy)

Peter (Han Solo): [about the Millenium Falcon] Well, what do you think?
Chris (Luke Skywalker): What a piece of junk!
Peter (Han Solo): Thank you this was my brother's, he died of leukemia. How do you feel know?

Kurt Cobain

I miss the comfort in being sad.

Delta Air Lines

We're sorry; we have no updates on this bag and are still trying to locate it. Please check back again.

James LeBeau

Christian: Sweetheart, you’re two hours late. If you were a pizza, I’d get you for free.
(He opens the door to find James standing there)
James: That’s because pizza gets cold. Some things get hotter the longer you wait for them.

Jennifer Melfi

Depression is rage turned inward.

Samuel Johnson

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Candy Darling

Andy Warhol: Look at candy everyone, doesn't she look fabulous, how often do you have your period?
Candy Darling: Every day Andy, I'm such a woman.

Richard Jones

London is a big city. Someone must have balls to sell.

God

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.